Making a New Life

As most of you know Greg and I have been thinking of getting a divorce for a long time now and after, counseling, coaching and much thought and prayer we did divorce. The kids actually seem to be doing good and we are both moving forward with our lives. We were married exactly 19 years. Since we have been in this horrible mode for so long many things have been missed an pictures not taken, so I will start taking more photos so you all can see our progress. Moving forward with 4 kids and being single will certainly be an interesting adventure for all of us. There are a lot of things you just don't prepare for when you go through this. The 2 younger kids will live with me and the 2 big boys will live with Greg. This is an unusual agreement but we felt like since Talon and Braeden are 16 an 17 they should get a say, and I may leave Utah. The big boys don't want to be relocated again after so many moves they are ready to call the Salt Lake Valley home. I didn't think that this would be difficult for me but I am finding that the thought of leaving my boys here is hard. We have gone through a lot of transitions and there are a lot still to go. Sometimes I am positive that this is not what I signed up for, I don't think anyone gets married with the thought that they will just get divorced. The marriage and the divorce has taken its toll on all of us but we are all strong and will be ok through this all. I don't know what I would do without my mom, my sister and all my friends, and other family. Through this entire thing I have felt very loved and very prayed for. Thank you, I am sure I would not be 1/2 as good as I am without all of those prayers.

So on to the new life, I am thinking about moving back to Texas but I need my house here to sell so I can decide what I want to do. Then I have to decide what is best for my kids even before I decide what is best for me. This has been a great week in that, Dakota turned 12 and recieved the priesthood, Jerica turned 8 and will be getting baptized on the 6th of February, and Braeden who turned 16 was ordained as a priest. This was very emotional and I hope that all of my children stay strong in the gospel and gain testimonies that will be strong and lead them to follow the teachings of the church. I have a lot of decisions to make and a lot of changes to help my kids through. I have a lot to be thankful for and at the top of that list are my kids. I am amazed at the people they are.

A Divorce

After much time and consideration, 6 months of marriage coaching and lots of personal therapy for Monica it has come to a point wherein we will be going our separate ways. I am sure that divorce is never easy but we are trying to make it as peaceful for our 4 children as possible and we are doing that with the help of a coach, mediator and therapist. We have officially separated and our home is on the market so this may be the last post that I make on this blog. We will be a split family with the older boys going with their dad and the little kids staying with me, we will both be going into separate homes within close proximity so that we can both be available for the children. For now we will not be changing schools and will keep the kids schedules as normal as possible. I have to say it is with sadness and relief that we end this relationship of 19 years and I hope that we both find a more productive and happy life from here forward. We love you all for following us and our adventures and we thank you all for your love, support and kindness through this time in our lives. Greg, Monica, Talon, Braeden, Dakota and Jerica.

Grand Canyon Float Trip on the Colorado River

So a 10 day vacation with 8 of them rafting the Grand Canyon on the Colorado River!! Above is a photo of a natural spring called the Pumpkin, it floats over into the river, we jumped the cliffs here, and the water was finally warm enough for me to jump into!! The water was about 50 degrees coming out of the bottom of Lake Powell for most of the trip. On day 5 or 6 it did warm up a little bit.

Havisu Pai River, there were two rivers on this trip that were this color, it was warmer water so we spent 1/2 a day playing in the falls and river.

One of the many waterfalls that we hiked up to and enjoyed

We spent a lot of time going through rapids, I was a little nervous at first after growing up on the upper river and a couple of others I knew how mean a rapid could be but they were actually a lot of fun and our guides made them seem effortless. I can't say that for some of the Kyakers we saw go down the rapids, some of them spent more time under than up!

I should mention that the size of these boats is like 35 feet long by 15 feet wide so they are huge and in some of the rapids these boats completely disappeared!!

Another Waterfall

Perspective is a little difficult in the canyon, these walls were 3000-6000 feet high.

This is a cave we had lunch in, to give perspective those little spots in the back are people.

The cave from the inside looking out, it was huge!!

One of the slot canyons we hiked up!

The rafts we were on, each held 14 people plus stuff and 2 guides!

So after 8 days floating on the Colorado river through the Grand Canyon I am thankful for a couple things: First my ancestors who lived before me and roughed it so I don't have to every day of my life. Second, flush toilets, peeing in the river sucked. Third my bed, sleeping on the ground was not so great either. Really I had fun doing this and I can say I did it, but I have to say I probably would not go for 8 days again. Growing up in the Red Rocks and Rivers I at least had an idea of what I was getting into when I agreed to do it and it was somewhat a return to my childhood. I was prepared for the water (not the coldness), the sand, the wind, the bugs, the rain and all the critters, but it was still a long time to go with no cell phone service for me!! We stayed 7 nights and floated for 8 days, we saw some really cool things and our guides were the best, if anyone wants to do this Grand Canyon Expeditions is the way to go, I will put their information at the bottom. We had 4 guides, Bob & Donna who are a married couple in their 50's, Sally who is soo dang funny and Martha who was on her 3rd trip. The food was awesome, I had no idea they could make food like that last for 8 days in 100+ degrees, we ate like kings. The water was sooo cold, I avoided it as much as possible except on the smaller tributary rivers which were warm and then I lived in it. There is no privacy, with 25 people on 2 rafts and not much room on beaches modesty is a hard thing to have. By the end of the adventure I was ready to get off the river, and I think 4 days would have been perfect. We met some very interesting people that were from all over the world that were on the trip with us and that was awesome, I loved talking to them and learning all about them. I had to laugh at some of the other women that screamed at lizards and frogs, I am still not afraid of them! I did a lot better than I thought I would do, I thought I would struggle with the hikes and really I didn't, there was one I opted not to take because there were some really high ledges that I just didn't want to go over, plus I did all that as a kid so it wasn't all the exciting for me. The rapids were awesome, the biggest one was a ton of fun and they let us go down one with just our life jackets because there were no rocks to hit, so the had us jump of the boats from each side like a bunch of paratroopers and down we went, it was tons of fun. I have to say that after growing up in the four corners and in the red rocks, the rocks weren't that exciting for me but I did enjoy them. The hardest thing by far for me was that there was no computer or cell phone at all for 8 days! I freaked out a little about not being able to call my kids but they survived and so did my cousin Ryan and his wife Carli (thanks guys I hope you want kids still!!). The last night it rained and I have to say it is a good thing it didn't happen on the 2nd night because I may have hiked out at the north or south rim and called my mom to come and get me!! This is one of those trips that once you are on there is no backing out so you better be prepared to stick it out. By the time we got off the river I think the entire group was thrilled to get a nice warm shower and sleep in a bed but no one really got grouchy (yes including me) and everyone had a lot of fun. Thanks Coca Cola for taking us, but if Greg wins the trip again he is taking one oof the boys!!! A huge thanks to Grand Canyon Expeditions and thier fantastic guides they made the trip well worth going once!!

Grand Canyon Expeditions Company

PO Box 0

Kanab, Utah 84741

435-644-2691 or 800-544-2591

http://www.gcex.com

I just have to share this story some of you may have heard it. One of the girls on the trip with us is an officer in the US Navy, she is 32 years old and can run one of those huge naval destroyer/aircraft carrier ships. She shared this: She was 3rd in command on a ship when 9 11 happened, they put all the navy ships under way immediately and her ship was out in the Atlantic by Brittan. She was on the bridge when a German Naval ship asked to do the equivalent of a drive by, apparently this is not uncommon and is sort of like a parade on the ship and they really didn't think much of it. When they came around the German ship had all of its sailors on one side of the ship in full dress and the ship men were holding a huge sign and US flag, the sign said "We Stand By You". I have to say that when she told us she was very emotional and I got chills all over. I can't imagine what it must have been like to see that in person, when even to hear about it is emotional. It is good to know in this world of uncertainty that there are those who stand by us!! Love M

Lake Powell

So this blog is a little backwards, here are the photos which I couldn't figure out how to get off of the camcorder till I was finished. You have to go down to read the Blogging!!





Jerica in the water, she is such a little fish!

Jerica & Nathan in the water having fun!!

Yep its a floating tramponline!! David has all the funnest toys!!

Dakota Fishing!

Dakota Fishing while Talon & Landon try to spear the fish!

Talon watching the fish!

Landon with the spear, they found out that Catfish are tougher than the spear!!

So our family vacation this year was a week on Lake Powell!! Lake Powell is a childhood favorite of mine, we went every weekend we could possibly go but we did not go in style like this. My brother in law got us a killer deal on a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom totally air conditioned, hot tub on top houseboat!! We had a blast, the kids came home, chapped, chaffed, sunburnt and so tired they couldn't stand each other but boy did they have fun. I have a bunch of other photos on the camcorder but of course I can't find the cord or the chip extension to put it in my computer so I will have to get them and put them up later.

This is a photo of my nephew Landon Musselman, he is the goingest kid I have ever seen, even more than mine. For those of you who know David Musselman his dad you will be happy to know that David does get his mothers curse with this child and at least one other, since he has 5 boys and 1 girl. Landon loved fishing and caught the biggest fish of the trip!!

Lake Powell is 90 miles long has around 120 canyons and 2000 miles of shoreline, it is like filling the Grand Canyon full of water, it ends at the beginning of the Grand Canyon. There were 2 other families with us, Greg's sister Pam (married to David Musselman, I know how did my sister in law end up married to a childhood friend who might as well have been my brother), thier 6 children, Landon, Wesley, Miranda, Nathan, Conner, and Porter. Greg's other sister Julie, her husband Bob (the Mills Family), and three of thier 8 children, Riley(who is now called Fish Bait), Julia & Andrew. So we had 13 kids most of whom were 11, 12,& 13, Bob and Julie adopted Julia and Andrew from the Ukraine. This Photo is an example of what the Lake looks like. It is one of the most beautiful places on earth.

This is a photo of the Dam, the lake is 584 feet deep, which brings me to Nathan who's job it was to scare me to death not one time but 3. Driving a house boat is a bit of an art in which you use the engines and the steering wheel, you have to get the boat started first which we found difficult. The first adventure that we had was that we could not get the boat started when the pilot got off and we drifted toward a sheer cliff wall and had to push off of it with shovels, Nathan tried very hard to get his arm smashed by hanging it over the edge from the top. The next thing he did was try to open a gate and put his feet in the water from the houseboat, which an 8 year old cannot do it is way to high, while we were in forward movement. The last thing he did was to climb up on a 50 foot cliff without us knowing and get stuck, right at dark. He started yelling from a precarious postion which sloped strongly downward. I freaked, that was my job on the trip, Pam and Julie cooked, cleaned and did all those chores for the most part and I strongly told children no (often called yelling). Children on Lake Powell have many dangerous options, like climbing 100 foot cliffs and jumping from them, diving under houseboats that may have gas pockets under them, swimming in 400 feet deep water without life jackets, swimming across bays that are way to far, jumping from the top of houseboats into to shallow water, and on and on. So I was safety patrol, and there were not any cliffs jumped higher than 50 feet!! Since I grew up on the lake and I worked on the lake as a teenager, I have pretty much experienced or seen it all so the kids didn't like that I knew what they wanted to do and vigilantly cut them off at the thought with a fanatic NO!!!

We took the kids to the Dam so they could learn about how it worked and see it. We missed the tour by an hour and it was the 1st day so they did not want to wait to go on a tour when they could be in the water. Can't say as I blame them, I wouldn't have wanted to do that either at thier age!!

Some of the things that we did let the kids do were: Wake Boarding, riding on this awesome tube that the Musselmans had, and sky skiing, cliff jumping, diving, swimming, kyaking, sliding off of the slide ont he houseboat, jumping on the deep side of the houseboat which I have some really cool video and other photos up on the camcorder (which I just barely figured out it would take still photos).

This was an experience that my kids left saying "we gotta do that again next year " I am sure we will do that again! I got to know my neices and nephews and they got to know me, we had a blast playing games, making snowies, and hanging in the hot tub (which turned green) GROSS!!

Riley who is 12 started calling me mother hen, which somehow turned into chicken wing, and he became fish bait, because I kept threatening to make him fish bait!! The lake was calm with glass like waters and there were not hardly any people there, which is awesome when you get to go in those conditions. When I worked there we would get up many mornings and ski at 5:00 am!! I just got a cord for the camcorder so here are some more photos, they were at the top becuase that is where the computer put them!!

Working it out

So it has been a while since I blogged. I have had a ton of response, on my blog saying that Greg and I were getting a divorce. I just want everyone to know I appreciate all the support, thank you, it means a ton to me. We have decided not to divorce and to go to Marriage coaching for 90 days which is being spread out over 120 because we have been to Lake Powell and will be leaving for a trip down the Grand Canyon (I will put photos up and blog on that next). Greg and I have done 2 coaching sessions with Matt Townsend and on group class and I have to say it is the best thing we have ever done. You can go to www.marriagemattersutah.com if you are in Utah and you need help with your marriage, and for that matter even if you don't think you do, going to Matt is well worth every penny and a lot cheaper than a divorce. I am thinking about starting a marriage blog to share what we are going through but haven't completely decided on that yet. We have found that there are some simple things that we can do to help our marriage, (we haven't gotten to the complicated things yet). Since I came from a horrible example of a marriage in which there was abuse and many issues I have no model to follow when it comes to marriage. My husband on the other hand came from a good lds family with 9 brothers and sisters and his parents are still married and just had thier 51st anniversary. So we are working on things and trying to work out our differences, and so far so good. I have to say I was very surprised at the response we got from family and friends and the support I recieved from people that I had no idea would even care. So I guess keep us in your prayers, and thoughts and hopefully we will figure this out. M

A Divorce

I have to say that of course you never go into a marriage with the intention of getting a divorce. Greg and I have decided that we have fought it out for 19 years at this point and the time has come for us to be done and go our separate ways. There is nothing I can say about Greg that is not good, he is a good man, he is a good dad, and he is a good providor for our family. Sometimes 2 people are just not compatable, they fall in love and then grow apart because thier lives and hobbies and beliefs go seperate directions. We will be working on a positive parenting plan for the children in which they will be first and foremost. The house is on the market so as soon as it sales we will separate into our own homes and the children will be settled with one or the other of us. We are going to try to keep the kids in the same schools and keep thier lives as normal as possible. Greg will remain with Harmons Grocery and I will continue selling Residential Real Estate along the Wasatch Front. We will all be fine, we will adjust and each day will get just a bit better than the last. Please keep our children in your prayers and thoughts, this is not thier fault they just get to be the victims of the circumstance. We will have a completed divorce in a couple months I am sure and then we will all start new with a new commitment to live life better than we have. Love Monica

June Weather in Utah

This is the result of a freak storm that came through this afternoon.

I was so enthralled by the storm and the hail that it did not occur to me that it would cause problems until I went to the back yard and found a river that was at least 6-8 feet wide and the high water line on my fence was about 2 feet up. Even then I wasn't worried about my basement but my neighbors. I called her and as I did I decided to check my window wells also. What I found was not good, our guest bedroom window well was filling up quickly and there was water about 2-3 inches up on the glass. I grabbed towels, sent Talon and Braeden out with buckets to start scooping out the windows. We kept up with it for the most part and finally I thought to go get the wet vac and vacuum the well out with it. I filled and emptied the 6 gallon tank 53 times!!! Needless to say I am so tired and my body is killing me. We actually got the least of the worst of the storm, some people had 8-9 feet in thier basements!! Yes really 8-9 feet!! So the event of our day was the rain and hail and freezing to death in a window well so our newly finished basement did not flood. M